Many of us, particularly men, have been taught that it is there job to be the providers and protectors for there partners and children, and this role can seem threatened when there woman is bringing in the majority, or all, of the income. The thing to remember is that at the end of the day a paycheck is not what defines us. We are worth much more than any amount of money we could earn. The problem is that society as a whole puts so much emphasis on money and social standing that it is hard to feel like someone’s equal if you make less money than them.
All men and women need to feel secure within themselves before they can be in a secure relationship. This is not the kind of security that one person gives another person. This is the kind of security that amounts to “knowing who you are” first. If you don’t know who you are, as most of us continue to find out who we are as we grow, you may be putting yourself in a relationship with someone who isn’t right for you. For instance, if you think you’re okay with a woman who makes a lot more money than you do, and it turns out that you didn’t really know yourself, and because of your ego you need to be the primary breadwinner, then being with a woman who makes more money than you, may not be the best thing for you.
Recognize what you bring to the relationship.
Don’t let how much you earn define you or be the indicator of success in your relationship. Your partner shouldn’t be with you because of how much income you make. Just because you don’t bring more money in a relationship doesn’t mean that you can’t offer other assets that are more important than money. Love, respect and team mentality should be a top priority asset in any relationship. Communication is key to knowing each others needs and wants. Once that has been accomplish, knowing what you can bring to your relationship should be easier.
To love the person that you with is to sometimes sacrifice your wants and put your partners best interest first.
Respect should be a deal breaker for anybody that doesn’t see your worth. You shouldn’t be with someone that belittles you or doesn’t see you as an equal partner.
Supporting each other so that there is a balance in your relationship. Make effort to dedicate your time, and energy to satisfy each others romantic and sexual needs.
You have to remember that you are on the same team. In healthy relationships, money isn’t “mine” vs. “yours” — it’s “ours.” So watch the words you use. Earning a higher income does not mean more power, so be careful not to hold your income over your partner or make each other feel bad for what you contribute to the relationship financially.
As long as you are both contributing, it shouldn’t matter who makes what. But it easily can when the topic is ignored and resentment builds or self-esteem suffers. There are a lot more important things to focus on in a relationship than who makes more money, so don’t let it become a problem in yours.
Writing By: Keyon’Dre